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Love the way you normalize the challenges of being married. Most of us were suckled on that teat too. I decided that if the church taught the general principle that couples should be married in the temple and that was not possible for me if I married this girlthen I should see if my choice would be an exception to the rule. It may not seem like a big deal now, but eventually it will probably surface that at best, the church impacts and influences her behavior in almost every area, at worst, it dictates it. That's probably true, and that would be a great thing for her, but they wouldn't see it that way. It's up to you to decide whether or not this is someone worth waiting for. If she can't or won't consider that the church is a lie, you need to move on because this relationship can't go anywhere. I would also say that this is the most stressful point in their lives. And even longer when you add that one-year fellowship to the end of it.
I would not have wanted to be dismissed as crazy and unworthy of attention when I was still a member, because it wouldn't have been true. Married men should not reach out to vulnerable women who buy their story of being lonely bc they are married to a woman who should have been a librarian. Some other times I admire myself and ask God for help. Don't expect this to be like the others. I have been happily married to a non-mormon for 20 years. Marrying a non-Mormon is not something you do it is something that happens. If it is even possible, would it strengthen or weaken their ability to develop a personal relationship with their Heavenly Father. He doesn't like to complain or talk about work too much when we're together so it really helps to hear from another resident just how crazy it is.